Loving People More Than Possessions: Lesson Two

            The second time I became too attached to a possession was on my mission. A few months into my mission, my watch broke. When I went looking for a replacement, I found a beautiful watch. It looked like a bracelet with a watch face. Although no where near the cost of a Rolex, I could have purchased a more practical, economical watch on my meager missionary allowance. I decided to splurge and buy the watch. I was serving in northeast Brazil. I rarely wore makeup because the heat and humidity would cause it to run down my face by midday. My hair was almost always in a ponytail to keep it off my neck and from sticking to my face. I showered at least two times a day, three when I could justify it. Most of the time I felt gross and, in spite of my best efforts, probably didn’t smell great either. A beautiful watch added a touch of femininity to my ragged state.

            My companion and I had been visiting a couple of families on the same street. It was a poor neighborhood. The homes were smaller than my daughter’s bedroom. One was a single woman with a young daughter. We knew the woman had a drinking problem. Later we learned from a neighbor that when she was drunk she would beat her daughter. I was appalled and wanted to stop visiting her. My companion thought we should try to help the woman. It was difficult because she was often drunk when we stopped by and we would be unable to teach her. A few days after I bought the watch, we visited her home and she was sober. She complimented me on how beautiful my watch was. My companion then started teaching the lesson. While I was trying to focus on the lesson and having unchristian thoughts about the woman, I heard a voice tell me to give her the watch. I ignored the voice. The third time I had the same prompting, I could no longer ignore it. After my companion finished the lesson, I told the woman to hold out her hand. I then took off the watch and gave it to her. Her face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. I wonder if she had ever had anything like it before.

            I would love to say that the woman was so touched by my generosity that she stopped drinking and abusing her daughter then joined the church. However, I would be lying. That was the last time we were able to teach her. It was the last time I ever saw her sober. The next time we came she apologized in a drunken rant that she had broken the watch. Surprisingly, I was not angry. When I gave her the watch, I surrendered ownership and concern about it. She didn’t need the watch. I needed to give it to her; because it was the first time I was able to see her as a daughter of our Heavenly Father instead of an abusive drunk. Although I was still upset about what was happening to her daughter; my heart was softened. I was able to let go and leave judgment up to God and to realize I had not lived the woman’s life. Therefore, I had no right to judge her. It still broke my heart to not be able to help the daughter. I am grateful to live in a country where there are people we can turn to who will intervene and help children in similar situations. 

Loving People More Than Possessions: Lesson One

When I was in college, as girl often do, my roommates and I would borrow each other's clothes. One Sunday my roommate, Sonae, wore my favorite white, floral dress. She looked stunning in it. One of the reasons I loved the dress was because it flattered my figure. Her boyfriend (now husband) Dan noticed how wonderful she looked and wanted to buy the dress from me for Sonae. I was not about to sell my favorite dress so I told him "no". Then the Spirit started working on me. Not to sell the dress, but to give the dress to her! I admit, at first I was annoyed and resistant. Finally, the Spirit was able to soften my selfish heart. I wrapped the dress in a box and left it on Sonae's bed with a note. She was extremely grateful for the gift. What amazed me the most was the way I felt after I gave it to her. I no longer cared about the dress. Once I let go of it, I was able to see it as just a dress which was nothing compared to my the friendship and love and had for my roommate. I was able to see all of the kindness she had shown me and our friendship was worth more than a thousand dresses. Sadly, the dress was later destroyed in a fire where Sonae and her family lost many of their possessions. Luckily, Sonae and her family were all okay.

Getting to Know Darth Vader

When I was little Darth Vader was the ultimate bad guy. Then during Return of the Jedi, when I was momentarily not distracted by the adorable Ewoks, I learned there was still some good buried underneath the metal and husky, breathy voice. Years later Phantom Menace came along and brought with it internal dilemma. How could the monster I feared as a child be this adorable little slave boy? As many things do, it caused crazy ideas to bounce around in my brain. In life it is rare for us to obtain insight into a person's life in the way Anakin Skywalker's journey from innocence to evil is presented. However, our Heavenly Father has that insight into all of our lives which helped me understand how God can love ALL of his children, even the really evil ones. When I think of someone like Adolf Hitler, in my mind his entire being is so engulfed in evil that they become synonymous. Yet, Heavenly Father knows of any good that still resides in our hearts. He can separate the sin from the individual in spite of the severity of the sin. That does not mean He in any way excuses the sin. We will have to pay for all of our sins if we do not repent through the grace of the atonement or if they are not covered by Christ's sacrifice. All it means is that He can still see His child. The one He will reclaim once all the sins are paid and the hurt and hate they were born of is washed away. 

Quantum Physics for Toddlers

            It has always perplexed me when someone spends an extreme amount of time obsessing over the mysteries of the gospel. Such individuals will spend hours researching and studying trying to unlock the secrets of the kingdom. These efforts end up being as fruitful as the Tower of Babel.

            God only gives us the knowledge we are ready to receive. Demanding more knowledge than one is ready for is like a toddler throwing a tantrum because Mommy won’t teach him quantum physics. The child can barley eat with a fork, can’t tie his shoes, and isn’t even potty trained; yet, he thinks he is big enough to understand advanced science. The world is in need of some serious potty training before we are ready for deep doctrines. For now we need to be content learning our colors and the alphabet.

            I do know a short cut to unlocking hidden knowledge—prove you are ready for it. God wants us to learn and will gladly increase our knowledge. All we have to do is learn what he has already given us. All you have to do to have the secrets of heaven and earth revealed to you, is learn everything and perfect everything that has already been revealed. Once you run out of things to learn, I promise God will give you more. Until then, I just trying to sort through some of the things we have already been given. One of these days I hope to be able to proudly proclaim, “I am spiritually potty trained.” Until then, I try not to get too discouraged when I have another “spiritual accident”.

Gratitude and Admiration Journal

          While keeping an eye on my daughter during her afternoon baths, I take advantage of the opportunity to fold laundry without the “assistance” of my little helper. Several months ago, I was prompted to start reading a few pages from the Ensign before folding laundry. I now look forward to the midday spiritual pick-me-up and my daughter enjoys the extra bath time. Also, for the first time in my life I have been able to read the Ensign each month from cover to cover.

            After reading Vaughn E. Worthen’s article on gratitude in the March 2010 issue, I decided to implement his suggestion to record things I am grateful for in my journal. After a brief period of opposition, I noticed a change in my attitude. I started viewing situations differently and became more aware of the blessings in my life.

            I also became aware of my tendency to see the negative more readily than the positive in others. I did not consider myself to be a judgmental person, but knew I could use some improvement. I quickly saw that I and others tend to be the most harshly judgmental of those closest to us, the people we should show the greatest love and forgiveness. I altered one of the items on my gratitude list to be an attribute I admire in someone else. I began with people I find easy to love and then worked towards people I struggle loving. As expected, I have been more aware of people’s positive traits. I have also received the unexpected blessing of having my heart start to soften towards those who I harbor feelings of hurt and frustration.  

            I have had reaffirmed to me that the commandments to be grateful and not exercise unrighteous judgment are for our benefit more than others. Being aware of the wonderful blessings and examples in my life has helped me become a happier person. A good attitude may make an individual enjoyable to be around, but the main beneficiary is the positive individual. The spirit has once again testified to me of our Heavenly Father’s love and concern for each of us individually. I am grateful that through the miracle of the atonement our weaknesses can become our strengths. 

AN ANGEL IN GETHSEMANE

Our savior pled in agony

Father remove this cup from me

Father sent strength His son could see

An angel to Gethsemane

In gratitude for Christ’s vast love

For His atoning drops of blood

God’s envoy for humanity

The angel in Gethsemane

When in tears I plea to give up

Father wilt Thou remove this cup

Heavenly Father sends to me

My angel in Gethsemane

I had no balm for Christ’s great pain

My brother’s anguish I can wane

For others grieving I can be

An angel in Gethsemane

Inspired by Luke 22: 42-44

I wrote the poem in Long Meter (8888) so it can be sung to any correspondingly metered music.

A Ticket to Hogwarts

I was rereading the Harry Potter series again (I have lost count as to how many times I have read it now). As I read, I thought wouldn't it be amazing if that world were real and if we had a way to be a part of it. Imagine what people would be willing to do if you told them they could go to Hogwarts and learn to be witches and wizards. All they had to do was complete a list of requirements. People would stop at nothing to qualify. Then it hit me that our Heavenly Father has given us a list of requirements to go to a place far more magnificent than a wizard world. We can go to the world where He dwells and where we can learn to be like Him. The reality of that world far exceeds any of our imaginations, even that of J K Rowling. This life, if you will, is the SAT test for us to earn our spot. If we truly understood what awaits us, no temptation great or small would be able to sway us from our path home to our Father.